More Reliable Than My Man
by Flame-Hazel-18
Summary: Davey and his family won the opportunity of a lifetime - the chance to compete on his favorite game show, but will a certain charismatic vacationer interrupt the moment Davey's been training for all his life? It's time to play Family Feud! Jack/Davey Katherine/Sarah


"Why did we even bring Davey. I know he's smart but at what cost?" Les whined from the way way back where he had been banished when Davey decided to skip a week of classes and go with the rest of the family instead. Once they'd gotten the offer to be on Family Feud, there was no way he could refuse - not that he would admit it, but he hasn't missed an episode of Feud since he'd started college.  
"We're almost there Les stop whining." Mr. Jacobs said from the drivers seat, exhaustion evident in his voice. Mama Jacobs was reading a book in the front while the three kids played cards in the back. Every mile they drove the temperature on the dash thermometer rose a little higher and the landscape got a little prettier. Palms replaced pines and everyone was antsy to enjoy the warm weather - Les especially, as he was tired of being bested at cards by Davey. Sarah wasn't one to argue over her loss, as soon as she realized she was behind, she tossed her cards in the discard pile and went back to texting Katherine.  
"YES! I WIN! Suck my ASS Davey!" Les shouted, doing an uncomfortable victory dance behind the restraining seat belt.  
"Les, we're playing Harry Potter uno. Please find some chill." Feeling satisfied that she had ruined his victory, Sarah put her headphones in and laid her head on the window, planning to sleep for the rest of the drive.  
After another hour of listening Davey and Les argue and hearing Mama Jacobs critique the supposedly "kinky" book her book club had selected this month, Mr. Jacobs had never been so pleased to see an unbearably full parking lot. His tires practically threw up sparks as he screeched to a stop near the entrance to the hotel.  
"You guys go ahead and check in, I'll find a parking spot." The family took the bait and Harold breathed a sigh of relief knowing he would get a few minutes to himself…well mostly. Sarah was still snoring loudly in the backseat, but he figured if he could handle three kids the entire car ride, he could handle one sleepy one helping him with the luggage.  
Waking Sarah was a difficult task. For several minutes the only responses she could muster were groans at varying volumes, but she finally made her way out of the car and grabbed a suitcase to help out.  
Everyone was checked in with their suitcases all unpacked incredibly quickly, likely due to the fact that the kids were all eager to get away from each other after the exceedingly long car ride. A knock sounded at the door and Sarah pulled it open to reveal Katherine.  
"Wow look mom, Katherine is here! What a coincidence! Gotta go bye." Sarah tried to escape but Mama Jacobs caught her by the strap of her beach bag.  
"Hi Katherine! How amazing that you mysteriously ended up coming to Florida the same week and staying in the same hotel as us." Mama Jacobs had her arms crossed and her tone was scolding, but the barely concealed smile and twinkle in her eyes let them know she was kidding and was very impressed that Katherine and Sarah had managed to pull this off. Katherine stayed and talked for a few minutes until they were given the go ahead to disappear until dinner time when she expected them both to return. They were almost home free when called after them: "Take Davey with you!"  
Arguments exploded from Davey and the two girls as Les laughed loudly and darted away as Davey swatted at the back of his head.  
"But Mom!" Sarah began, wanting time alone with her girlfriend.  
"Mom I gotta say you're kinda cock blocking me here." Katherine groaned, leaning against the door frame.  
"Enough, you two. Sarah don't look at me like I'm ruining your life, just go to the beach or something. And Katherine, I don't really think it's cock blocking unless you know something about my daughter I don't."  
Sarah sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Come on, Davey, let's go."  
"No thanks I'm just gonna hang out here." He tried, but Mama Jacobs would have none of it.  
"Davey we're in Florida and you haven't seen the sun in years. Go with your sister please." Her tone prevented any further argument from him. He slumped his shoulders and followed the girls outside, making sure to grab two bottles of sunscreen off the counter on his way out.

Davey followed a few steps behind the girls as they walked down the beach attempting to not hear all the wildly inappropriate Katherine was saying in an effort to make Sarah blush. When Katherine moved her hand from Sarah's back pocket and began to snake it up the back of her shirt, Davey groaned and cursed his mother for making him do this.  
"Can you keep it in your pants for like two minutes?" He snapped.  
"Calm down, Davey, we're almost there." Katherine said, not moving her hand from where she was rubbing circles into Sarah's lower back.  
Before Davey could argue, a group of boys underneath a nearby cabana started shouting and waving at them. He followed as Katherine led Sarah up to greet them.  
"When did you have time to make all these friends?" Sarah asked, amazed at the steady stream of boys pouring out of the cabana, all shouting and laughing and pushing at each other.  
Katherine shrugged. "Airport. We all took the same bus here. Hey everybody shut it!" Silence fell over the group immediately. "Meet Sarah, and her tag-along brother Davey." The boys laughed as Davey tried to protest, feeling the need to point out that he hadn't wanted to be here in the first place, but Sarah cut him off.  
"You'll be fine here, right? Just for a few minutes?"  
Katherine held her hand over her heart, pretending to be offended. "A few minutes?! Jesus give me some credit." Sarah rolled her eyes at her theatrics.  
"Jack, keep an eye on David here. We'll be back…eventually." Katherine called over Davey's incredulous "you're just LEAVING ME HERE?"  
A hand fell heavily on his shoulder, causing him to jump.  
"Woah there, you're okay. I'm Jack, the one Katherine appointed your baby sitter."  
Davey rolled his eyes and turned to snap "I don't need supervision" but when he caught sight of the tall, tan, and shirtless man behind him, his biting words were lost in favor of unintelligible stammering.  
"Guh….there's uh…Davey I'm- I'm Davey."  
Jack smiled and pushed his sunglasses up on his head to reveal beautiful eyes that Davey was sure he could get lost in. He was even more sure of it when realized he'd been staring, and that he'd waited an uncomfortably long before shaking Jack's offered hand. When he finally did, he squeezed his hand far too tightly and couldn't stop wondering if his hand felt sweaty and clammy. To his credit, Jack didn't comment on Davey's strange behavior. Instead, he pulled him under the cabana where the dozen or so boys formed a circle around the two of them, all eagerly introducing themselves. Davey couldn't remember a single one of their names.  
The boys were loud and rowdy while they messed around with each other. The three older women on the other side of the cabana looked irritated with all the intruders, and they sipped their drinks and glared in their direction. Davey nervously checked his phone many times, watching the minutes stretch on without Sarah and Katherine making an appearance. One of the younger boys, who Davey felt fairly confident introduced himself as Crutchie, sat by him and kept up a steady stream of conversation, either not noticing or not caring that Davey was silent, favoring staring at Jack from across the cabana over talking to the friendly kid. Jack was playing cornhole with a few of the others, laughing and making a big show of stretching his arms and concentrating in on the board before tossing his bean bags. Davey noted that he was spectacularly awful at the game, each of his off-target throws accompanied by jeers of "what was that, Kelly?" or "and you call yourself a baseball player!" Jack took their mockery for a few rounds before giving up and returning to the shade, grabbing a few beers from a nearby cooler and sitting down in the sand next to Davey. Jack offered him a beer, he hesitated.  
"C'mon, I won't tell." Jack winked and nudged Davey's knee with the beer. "You're like 18, right? Close enough to legal."  
Davey took the bottle and attempted to pop the lid. "I'm 20 thank you very much." Jack let Davey struggle with the cap for a moment before taking it back and cracking it open on his teeth. Davey jumped at the loud cracking noise.  
"That's disgusting! Oh my god you can't just-" Davey stopped when Jack grinned, his bottle opener slipping out from between his molars. Davey blushed, stuttering through an embarrassed apology. Jack bumped their knees together and smiled at him.  
"It's okay, I was just messing with you. Drink up."

An hour or so later, Katherine was standing on her hotel room bed, very content to hold Sarah's bikini top over her head and watch her jump to try to get it.  
"Give it back! We need to go get Davey!" Sarah crossed her arms and glared at Katherine, giving up batting at the strings of her bikini like an angry kitten.  
"Davey's fine, we have time for a shower. Wait until you see these showers they're incredible."  
Katherine's distraction provided Sarah with the opportunity to pinch her hips. Katherine yelped in surprise, her hands flying down to massage away the pain in her sides, and Sarah snatched her bathing suit away, quickly retying the back and dodging Katherine's attempts to undo it again.  
When they finally made their way back down to the cabana, Sarah got nervous when she didn't see Davey right away. After searching for a little bit, they found him leaning heavily into Jack's side, Jack's arm around his waist keeping him steady as he took the final sip of his beer, dropping it with the other empties on the ground in front of him.  
"Really Davey? We were gone for like an hour how much did you drink?" Sarah crossed her arms, hoping she looked intimidating in her pastel floral bikini. Judging by Katherine's snickering behind her, she wasn't quite pulling it off. Davey didn't answer her question, so he took his hand and attempted to tug him up off the ground. "Come on, we're going home before you puke."  
"Noooooo," Davey tried to resist, but Sarah was stronger, especially since he was tipsy enough to forget exactly how to fight back. Once she'd hauled him to his feet and was sure she was supporting him enough to keep him from stumbling, she started to lead him back to the hotel. He cooperated, but very loudly made it clear that he wasn't ready to leave.  
"Wanna stay with J-Jack. Look how…look how pretty he is!"  
All the boys started whooping and whistling, much to Davey's confusion. "Did I say that in my head?" He asked Sarah seriously.  
"Not quite. Come on let's get you home." Sarah turned back and mouthed "I'm sorry" at Jack. Jack waved her off and smiled, hoping he was concealing his blush creeping up his neck, but something in her eyes told him he wasn't. Once the trio was out of earshot, the mocking of the rest of the guys increased dramatically.  
"Hey Jacky-boy, when can I expect a wedding invite?" Race said, elbowing him in the shoulder.  
"Fuck off." Jack shook his beer at him so some of the sticky liquid splattered across his face. Race dove at him and the two wrestled in the sand for a few minutes until most of them had forgotten all about what Davey had said, more interested in the girls who had appeared, asking if they could join the party.

"Rise and shine, Davey! You look awful and you're going to be on camera in two hours, we've got a lot of work to do!"  
Davey groaned and pulled his pillow over his head, trying to block out the light Katherine was letting in as she opened all the curtains. She pulled his pillow away and smacked him with it, threatening to continue if he didn't open his eyes. He sat up and glared at her.  
"Why are you here? Can't you screw my sister in a room I'm not in?" He flinched away as Katherine jumped up onto the bed, trying to avoid being stepped on.  
"Don't worry, we spent the night in my room, not that you would've noticed anyway. But you're the last one to get up so I was given permission to use whatever force necessary to GET YOU UP!" She shouted the last words in his ear, causing Davey to cry out and cover his ears, his pounding headache unbearable.  
Katherine applauded obnoxiously when Davey finally got out of bed and he flipped her off, searching through his bag for Advil.  
"Please becoming publicly presentable quickly, we've got things to do." Katherine ruffled his hair and made her way to the door. Davey smoothed his hair down, wondering why he had ever thought drinking yesterday had been a good idea. Memories came flooding in, and he called Katherine back just before she shut the door.  
"Yesterday did I…did I really-"  
"Call Jack pretty and hang all over him like a sexually-deprived schoolgirl? Yes that happened. Any other questions?" Davey slumped down to the floor groaning and Katherine took that as her sign to leave. After a few minutes of wallowing in self-pity, Davey convinced himself it didn't matter since he would he spending the rest of the vacation far, far away from Katherine and her friends, and he wouldn't ever have to see Jack again. He quickly tamed his hair and donned the outfit he'd brought along for the show. He'd chosen outfits for the entire family, all of them carefully color-coordinated around his clothes - but not matching, he'd watched enough of the show to know that matching outfits never worked out for anyone. Once he was dressed, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, turning this way and that and looking himself over. He tucked and untucked his shirt a few times then, wondering why he'd let himself be talked out of bringing an iron along, tucked the shirt in again and forced himself away from the mirror, deciding it was as good as it was going to get.

"Everybody understand the rules? Ready to go?" The backstage aid had quickly run them through everything they were and were not supposed to do, the entire lecture delivered in a way that made Davey think she'd already given in several hundreds of times throughout her career, which she probably had. Everyone nodded their understanding and she bustled away, whisper-yelling commands into her headset as to not interrupt the episode currently being taped. The Jacobs crew would be replacing whichever team lost in the next few minutes, and they were to wait backstage until it was time to film their episode. Sarah was talking to Katherine who had snuck backstage with them, and Les was entertaining himself by taking snapchat videos with the family feud theme playing in the background.  
When the losing family cleared off the stage, the Jacobs were brought out and lined up at their podiums. Davey felt his knees shaking as Steve Harvey himself came out from backstage to greet the new family. He went up and down the line, listening to everyone pronounce their names to hopefully avoid slip ups on the show.  
"You okay, son?" Steve asked of Davey, clapping him on the back when Davey stuttered through his name.  
"This kid is your biggest fan." Sarah butted in. Davey would've argued, but it was true. "I don't know if he's missed a single episode of your show. Every time we try to watch a re-run he tells us exactly what happens. Because he's already seen it. Many times."  
Davey blushed and ducked his head, but Steve laughed heartily and squeezed his shoulder. "Sounds like you're gonna be pretty good at this then. Expecting big things from you, Davey!" Steve left to go backstage again as the directors called for everyone to take their places. Les trained his phone camera on Davey's face, adding an voice over to his snapchat video of Davey.  
"He just met his idol Steve Harvey. He may die. Stay tuned." Davey smacked the phone away, scolding Les for not paying attention.  
"Put that away it's about to- fuck." Davey wanted to melt into the floor when he caught sight of Jack sitting in the audience. He stared openly for a minute as Jack talked to the woman sitting next to him. Jack turned as the feud theme song started playing. He trained his attention to the stage, and his eyes locked with Davey's, who was still gaping at the boy's sudden reappearance. Jack grinned and raised his eyebrows before pointing to the stage. Davey turned and began clapping just in time to not make a fool of himself on camera.

Davey tried to stay focused for the rest of the game, and while he managed to answer his questions no problem, only getting buzzed out once, he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering back out to the audience, just to see if Jack was still looking at him. Every single time, Jack was focused entirely on Davey, completely ignoring the rest of the game in favor of making Davey blush and squirm a little under his intense gaze.  
The Jacobs family won easily as they were facing a group of white dads who looked like they'd taken a wrong turn on the way to the Indy 500. They had agreed to let Sarah and Mama Jacobs try their hand at fast money, but the two of them combined barely broke 100 points, so they decided they needed to try something new if they won again, planning to send Davey out first, then Harold.  
There was a few minutes of downtime between episodes, and the Jacobs family talked quietly on the stage as the crew worked to get the next family ready. Davey forced himself not to look out at the crowd for Jack, and did very well for several minutes. When he could no longer control himself, he glanced out of the corner of his eye to the seat Davey was sure had been Jack's, but was now occupied by a young woman. He scanned the crowd, not recognizing the people who had until recently occupied the seats around Jack's. He counted the newcomers, all in similar dresses of an awful pink color, totaling them up at five. He started to panic when he realized that could mean that-  
"Davey! Look who it is!" Sarah said loudly enough to turn the heads of everyone on the stage, Jack included. He waved at her, winked at Davey, then turned his attention back to his family which was comprised of, to Davey's best guess, his mother and father, and older woman he guessed was his grandmother, and one of the boys from the beach the day before he was fairly certain everyone was calling Race. Davey took a few deep breaths and tried to ignore the questioning stares from Les and his father, Sarah furiously typing a message he assumed was destined for Katherine, and his mother carefully watching the other family as if trying to determine Jack's character from across the stage.

"Please switch with me." Jack asked again, trying to impress the importance of his request upon Race without actually having to explain it to him with their prying parents a few feet away.  
"We said it was gonna be this way though! We practiced!"  
Jack put his arms on Race's shoulders. "Fuck the practice rounds, this is for real. Trust me."  
Race glared and grumbled as he switched podiums with Jack. "I swear if this is just so you can get in that guy's pants…" Jack didn't hear the rest of Race's threat, it was drowned out by the family feud theme song. Jack clapped along, watching Davey across the way and willing him to look up at him.  
Davey was doing his best to ignore Jack. "They changed places!" Davey hissed into Sarah's ear. Sarah bit her lip to hide her amused smile, shrugging at Davey and successfully irritating him even further.  
Davey and Jack were both third in line, and they had their turn up at the front together during the final round. Davey stared intently at his feet as he made his way up to the podium, wanting to avoid embarrassing himself further by tripping and sprawling flat on his face across the stage. He didn't look up once, not when he shook Jack's hand - Jack squeezing a little harder than absolutely necessary. He didn't even look up when he gave his answer, but Steve asking him whether his family wanted to pass or play let him know he'd given the number one answer. His family was shouting to play, and he returned to his spot, hoping his behavior didn't look too odd on camera.  
Davey was doing the math in his head. No one was going to reach 300 points. Even if his family got all the answers rights, it would still only take them to 273, and the Kelly's were trailing them by 20 points. He was three slots away from being chosen for sudden death, and with three answers still on the board, someone was bound to get one correct, statistically baring him from having to play.  
Of course they all got them wrong. He was almost sure Sarah had blown her answer on purpose just to make sure he had to play against Jack.  
"Well nobody reached 300 points, so we're going to sudden death! Give me Jack! Give me Davey!"  
Sarah patted Davey on the back as he walked awkwardly up to the front podium, still having difficulties walking and clapping at the same time.  
"Alright guys, we're looking for the number one answer only, get ready. We asked 100 married women: what's something that more reliable than your man?"  
Davey slammed his hand down on the buzzer, knowing to buzz first, think second. His podium lit up, and he knew the answer he wanted to give, the one he was sure was number one and would win his family the game, but still the thought of saying it gave him pause. Jack was staring at him, his eyes lit up gleefully, knowing what was about to happen. Davey hesitated for so long that the buzzer went off as he forced himself to shout. "My vibrator!"  
There was a long, tense pause, and Davey held his breath. Steve sighed, long and loud, chucking his cards onto the floor. The audience burst into laughter, and Jack raised an eyebrow at Davey. "Is it really?" He said quietly. The heat came off Davey for a moment as Steve turned his comedic wrath to Jack.  
"Boy what the-?!" He swatted at Jack's head. "You see this here? You got your mom and dad, you got your GRANDMA, and you're over here talkin about vibrators what in the-" The laughter from the audience was infectious, Davey himself even joining in before Steve finally said. "Well let's see if it's up there… My vibrator!"  
Steve fell back against the podium and slid to the floor when the panel flipped, the loud ding denoting that vibrator was in fact more reliable than the men of 57 married women.  
The Jacobs family ran up to hug Davey as Steve went to shake the hands of the Kelly family. Once all the excitement had died down, the Kellys came over to congratulate them before they filmed fast money. Jack slung his arm around Davey's shoulders and ruffled his hair, much to Davey's dismay.  
"Your vibrator, huh? Interesting."  
Davey shrugged away, grinning in spite of himself. "Hey I was just trying to agree with the masses. It's not like I have a man, reliable or otherwise." Once the words were out of his mouth, Davey had to admit he was a little shocked he'd said them. Jack seemed surprised too, but didn't comment. His family was soon asked to leave the stage, and Davey thought about calling Jack back, about asking him where he was staying or giving him his phone number. He thought on it too long, however, and Jack was out of earshot by the time he decided it was worth it. He stuck his hands in his pockets, wondering how much embarrassment Katherine would make him suffer if he asked her to help him find Jack. Davey's hand collided with something in his pocket that he was sure had been empty a moment before. He pulled out the scrap of paper and saw a phone number written in messy scrawl across it. There wasn't a name, but he was certain of who it came from.

Davey went first during fast money, answering all the questions with several seconds to spare. Steve put his arm around his shoulders and he watched as their point totals soared, nearly reaching the 200 mark all on his own. When his dad came up to answer the questions, they only put up two of his answers before the bells went off, the audience cheering as the whole family embraced, now $20,000 richer. Steve read off the number one answers, and Davey smiled as every single one of them was the answer he had given.  
The family cleared off the stage, filming having concluded for the day, they were instructed to come back in the same clothing, their hair styled the same way the next morning to continue filming their arc. Davey followed behind the rest of his family, content to watch them jump around and celebrate.  
"Five number one answers, huh? Not bad, Jacobs, not bad at all." Jack appeared from one of the many doorways behind the stage, easily falling in step with Davey.  
"What can I say, I'm just a natural."  
Jack laughed, drawing the attention of the rest of the Jacobs family. Sarah loudly voiced her desire to "stay and watch the show", but Mama Jacobs tugged on her upper arm and led her out of the studio.  
"So at risk of sounding like an idiot, and not even having alcohol as an excuse, I'm gonna take a chance and say that I think you're pretty too, and as long as you're gonna be here for a couple days, maybe I could see you again sometime." Jack tilted his head down, looking at Davey out of the corner of his eye as his stubbed the toes of his converse into the floor.  
"Well I don't know if you caught this, but I did just win 20,000 dollars."  
Jack gasped, pretending to be shocked. "I had no idea I was talking to someone so rich!"  
Davey laughed, bumping their shoulders together. "I had planned on investing it all in 20 year bonds, but I think I could be convinced to splurge a little to take you out to dinner."  
Jack stepped in front of him to open the studio door for him, bowing and gesturing for him to exit. "I would be delighted, Mr. Jacobs."


End file.
